Happy New Year. Back to work, back to being distracted, back to needing a release? Lets all play wildly, knowing though that in this new year there is still no cure, so protect yourself. Think.—N.B.
Safe Sex
Condom Oral-ology
We asked our friend Tom not to lie to us. He’s a party planner from St. Louis, and swears that he always wraps it before his lover(s) go down on him. See, Tom’s in a three-way—with Kendra, his girlfriend from college, a trust-fund hottie with some recently diminished Standard Oil money in her account, and her ex-boyfriend Will, who works as some kind of diver in the Mississippi River. We asked Tom to give us a three-way condom taste-test.—M.V.
For Monogamous Couples: Naturalamb, On her knees and with her hair pulled back, Kendra tells me that condoms made from animal membrane is how Civil War soldiers had sex. This latex-free condom is so thin and flexible, Will says it feels like a second skin in his mouth. It's not for us, though—best for committed couples, since it offers no protection against STDs.
For Quick Shooters: Durex Performax, The inside tip is coated with a body-heat activated lube that contains Benzocaine, which reduces skin sensitivity. It numbed Will’s penis, turned him into Mr. Marathon, which was great for Kendra, not so good for me.
For Single Connoisseurs: Kimono Micro Thin with Aqua Lube, This is the thin of the thin. According to the manufacturer, this baby is 20% thinner than competitor's "thin" models, but still strong enough to pass vigorous testing. Will approved it because its water-based lube wasn’t sticky in his mouth.
For Thrill Seekers: Trojan Magnum Twister, I always order these at my corner deli, because I’m a 7-incher that’s a little too restricted for regular size. 15% larger than standard condoms, the extra latex and twist shape at the tip create additional friction for all of us. Kendra says it touched her G-Spot.
For Picky Lickers: Durex Tingling Pleasure, (with no latex smell!), This was the winner. After a three-way fellatio session we all felt like we had just been to the dentist for a cleaning. Even if the last thing you want in your mouth is a condom, its winning aroma is well worth a hang from your rear-view mirror.
