Stemming the Rose. Is it just me, or do women give better cunnalingas? To find out I staged a contest: who could go down on me and get me off the fastest. Thankfully, my part time girlfriend obliged me and joined my boyfriend and I for a night of tending to my garden.
But who had a greener thumb? Ok, she did. Not that my man didn't send me shivering and writhing around with his tongue. Quite the contrary—the way he pulled my legs open, gripped my thighs, lapped and licked with his thick wet tongue, it was earth shattering. After a time, I came long and hard. But when our guest took her shot—I shot; as in, I literally shot when I came.
In my youth, I had always lived for the moment when a hot woman went down on me, and now I know why. First, my girlfriend took her time—devouring, rather than licking and sucking. And, an advantage, she knew exactly where to go, when, and for how long. She knew what rhythm for this, then for that. Instead of one long hard orgasm, somehow, I had several—until I finally gushed.
Not to be outdone by a woman, my boyfriend plunged into me afterwards, sending me over the moon with probably the deepest orgasm I have ever had in my life. In the end, my girlfriend may have had the greener thumb, but my boyfriend proved his deft skill at stemming the rose.—L.Turnbull, Greenwich, CT
Feasts. "If the first lay wasn't so good, I'd just get laid again a few hours, or a few minutes later," a rutty, fair skinned Rick said about the 1970s gay sexual revolution through a thick bushy gray mustache, sipping coffee in a San Francisco cafe in the Castro.
We were in the front on stools at a counter facing the street through tall french doors that were open, letting in the crystalline clear light and thin cool breeze of the afternoon. Rick looked on wistfully, "I'm not sure why, though, we queens call it 'back in the day,' because that 'day' could be today," he laughed and gestured with a snap of his farm worker thick and rough fingers saying, "Please honey, we could stand up, walk two blocks, and with a few single dollar bills blaze through as many men as we want."
Of course I knew this, but I had steered my conversation with Rick toward this because I had a larger question; one that I thought he might answer with some stats or psycho-babble about gay repression or something. "Why so many though? Gay or straight or bi—men are promiscuous. We never hear women bragging about such things. What's with the trophy of 'blazing,' as you say, through as many women or men or both as we want to in a night?"
Rick cocks his head back sort of wisely, paused and nodded with a kiss of old age in his still bright blue eyes and just said it, "Because we can."
Twister anyone? Our friend Les Fairchild at HX.com conducted an interesting sexual position poll recently that Kinsey would have just loved.
The question: What position do you find yourself in most often? The answers: Bottom 32%, Versatile 34.6%, Top 31%, and Other 2%. Now we all know that the group "other" just want to get jackhammered all night. (Our favorite types of men—and women).
Interestingly, when we posed the same questions to 4,395 BastardLife readers, 62% of you claimed to be tops, 38% threesome bottoms, while a small 13% of you claimed to just be full blown oralaholics—N.B.
Everyone has their price. No, these aren't hookers pictured above, but man we wish they were. In a recent BastardLife survey of nearly 200 adult workers (in this case escorts, male hustlers, and street hookers) 32% of you claimed you would defy your Oath of Office and snitch on your Johns if the price were high enough. The majority of you, both men and women, told us that you "had no price" and that your client's secrets would go with you to the grave. "However, we have no control over the guilty, loose lipped men, who get drunk, dial their wives and rat on themselves. In cases like those, we lie—even if there are pictures."—T.B.
X2. In a BastardLife poll of 1,326 male twins, 11% of you admitted to being wing men for your brothers—and the high number of women who when they were done with one, asked that the other do them, too.—M.T.
Happy New Year. Back to work, back to being distracted, back to needing a release? Lets all play wildly, knowing though that in this new year there is still no cure, so protect yourself. Think.—N.B.
"It`s true - I am a bisexual. But I can`t deny that I`ve used that fact very well. I suppose it`s the best thing that ever happened to me. Fun, too."—David Bowie
And now, live from the world of Wikipedia:
"...Bisexual chic is a phrase sometimes used to describe the public acknowledgement of bisexuality among various segments of society. In some cases the phrase can be considered pejorative, when used to trivialize or dismiss genuine feelings of same-sex attraction, especially if those expressing these thoughts continue to exhibit otherwise hetero normative behaviors.
One usage of the phrase describes increased public interest in bisexuality, or increased social acceptance of bisexuality. This usage is usually associated with a celebrity coming out as bisexual or being labeled as bisexual, or with a high-profile reference to bisexuality in popular culture media, like a cover article of a magazine.
The other main usage describes a faddish attention towards bisexuality. This usage is also limited in scope, as it fails to provide relevant content of what it means to be bisexual, to give context to the legitimacy of bisexuality as an orientation, and even to convey a full understanding of bisexuality..."
People, is it more taboo to be bi than gay? The Wikipedia commentary of 'bisexual chic' is as confused as those who hate bi's think we are. Funny, because while the neighbors and colleagues all sat in judgement, or in their own confusion, or sighed at how confused they thought I must be—I was having the time of my life. Bi is real, gay is real, straight is real. And on Bastardlife, you can dip and dab in as many of them as you like. Be safe and enjoy.—N.B.
Vogue,Paris Edition. How could I resist posting this, seeing a I have two of them inked on each of my forearms thanks to Adam Suerte's brilliant tattoo artistry. The 2009 Vogue Paris calendar, which comes as a supplement to the December/January issue, features fourteen hot women all photographed brilliantly by Terry Richardson and styled by Carine Roitfeld—as pinups in Louis Vuitton lingerie and shoes. Jourdan Dunn is a sexy nurse, Ali Michael a sexy cheerleader, Eniko Mihalik graces the cover as sexy kitten. Carine even included a spread for the solar months, with patrons saints Alber (Elbaz), Gareth (Pugh), Lara (Stone), and their ilk celebrated.(Fashionologie.com).—N.B.
The truth hurts. Proposition 8 was as much an attack on the right of same-sex couples to marry as it was on liberty itself for our nation.
Regardless of how one felt about gay marriage, Proposition 8 set a dangerous social precedent in California. In their attempt to deprive gay and lesbian couples of the right to marry, supporters of Prop. 8 were willing to kill what this nation stands for and, at its best, what it is: The last great bastion of freedom in a world constricted by the absence of democracy.
Put bluntly, Proposition 8 is bad policy, because it represents a taking away of rights rather than the deepening and expanding of them. Such a movement was an affront to the promise embedded in the aims of our founding fathers and, clearly, the laying of the foundation for a more vigorous movement grounded in hate, discrimination and homophobia.—William Kapfer, Publisher, BastardLife
Lindsay Lohan. There just aren't enough Kinsey Scale numbers to categorize luscious lovely Lindsay Lohan—and we solute her for it. The talent recently admitted she has been in a relationship with her ultra hip LA DJ girlfriend Samanta Ronson “for a while," a "wonderful" woman with whom she's madly in love, according to a new interview with the starlet.
In an interview with Harper's Bazaar, she goes on to say, "I think it's pretty obvious who I'm seeing." Nonetheless, she pointedly refused to name her lady love, Ronson. When asked if she considered herself a bisexual, Lohan answered, "Maybe. Yeah." But she was adamant that she wasn't a lesbian, giving an emphatic, "No," when asked.
More power to you, LL—you are a BastardLife kind of girl.
Lindsay recently dropped out of hosting the World Music Awards after Sam reportedly became jealous of co-host Jesse Metcalfe. All we can say is, "You go DJ—stand up for your girl!"—N.B.
"My boyfriend is amazing, He's OK with the fact that sometimes, instead of sex, I just have to have him in my mouth while I'm masturbating. It's purely selfish. He simply provides me a hard cock, and I feast on it while I jerk off.—Mike, Salt Lake City, UT
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"I had my first anal orgasm today and my mind was blown. Look, guys do have G-spots. If they don't, I absolutely and totally do."—Seattle, WA.
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"My boyfriend and I had our orgasms at the same time while we were 69'ing. And that was the best, and tastiest, one I've ever had in my gay life!"—Richard, LA, CA
