You miss the passion when the two of you have sex. For your partner it's just become mechanical. Now what?
Q: I have been with my partner for a decade. We are in love still for sure. But the sex is completely staid and robotic actually. I want my clothes ripped off and some fire back in our bed. How do I snap him back into sexual shape?—Lisa S., Houston, TX
A: Years of familiarity, busy schedules, and big careers can breed complacency in bed. But when you are the one who wants your partner to get fired up again—you have to be the one to make it happen. First, think positions; there are a million of them, and finding out which ones are stimulating and work for both of you is fun, and can lead to some hot new paths in bed. We recommend Nerve's Position of The Day Playbook. It has one new position for every day of the year in a well designed, tasteful book you can keep by the bed. Second, be persistent without pressuring. It has to be clear that your desire for him is motivating you to pursue the expansion of your intimate life, not just the need for "good sex he ain't giving you."
Key Tip: Experimentation is what made our first sexual encounters the most fun. Learning new things is always exciting—and if you open the door to new ideas in your bed, you can ramp up the excitement level there, too.—C.D.
