You've been married less than a year. When you get home, she's not bounding over to kiss you, she's bound up in the kitchen waiting for a romp. Now what?
Q: This is my second marriage; my first ended because my wife thought I was too sexually adventurous. Now I've been married less than a year and I am wondering if my new wife is far more adventurous than I am—she will often wait for me to find her bound and gagged in various rooms of the house with a note beside her that reads, "Fuck me bound like this." How can I find my "inner torturer" and do something like that to a woman?
A: Not only is there a fetish in all of us, be it mild or mad, but they come in all colors and flavors—bondage and domination being one of them. First, before you run to the next marriage, learn more—I recommend Alison Tyler's Best Bondage Erotica series or her book Love at First Sting: Sexy Tales of Erotic Restraint in which what appears to be the art form of this fetish is beautifully and tastefully described in a way that will inform and most like arouse you. Second, nothing is more arousing than exploring a new intimate life together, so learn from her before you role play or her next bound up moment. Find out what turns her on and be sure to be honest about what you like and need as well. Then, enjoy.
Key Tip: Some fetishes are not for everyone. But the stigma of others can turn you off before you explore their potential for exciting you. Communicate, be safe, and have fun and no one will get hurt (at least not too badly).—N.B.
