You were one of his many conquests. He was a dog when he was with you. You want to confront him. Now what?
Q: I recently found out that the man I was with this spring was a dog. I admit we had no commitment and there were no strings attached. But I feel used and I just want to be the one girl out of the lot who stands up and lets him know how it feels to be played. How do I confront this man-whore?
A: Stiletto heals make great weapons, but there is no need to thrash him. Men are players, many women are too, but too often women deny their common sense about a man until after the sex. And then wish for what may never be—commitment, loyalty, and even love. First, if confronting him is a must, be sure to own your half of the street. Be honest with yourself and admit that you may have known, and even been turned on by the fact that your man was popular. And given that the two of you were single and not in a monogamous relationship, it is important that you restrict your confrontational remarks to how you feel now knowing what you do about him. Second, be careful not to judge him. Be hurt, angry even, that he has chosen to play the field over settling down with you, but save yourself the emotional hangover of spitting fire and nails and judging what he as a single man has a right to do.
Key Tip: Play it cool. Let him know it's his loss. But be honest about how you feel—and move on.—N.B.
