You've never had anal intercourse but you crave it quite often. Now what?
Q: I associate anal sex with being gay or contracting diseases; yet, I often fantasize about doing it. So far, I never have. I don't consider myself gay—I have a bisexual girlfriend who is always telling me I should try it. I think I'm ready. What advice can you give a first timer?
A: For most men, whether they know it or not, the anal area is an important erogenous zone because of both the dense concentration of nerve endings around the anal area and the close proximity of the prostate glad to the anal opening. The fact of the matter is, straight, gay, or bisexual, this sensitive area, one which heightens sexual pleasure and intensifies orgasms, might as well be considered the male G-Spot. But how do you get started?
In a poll of 5,000 male BastardLife readers, 43% of you told us that the most pleasurable way to begin stimulating the anus is by lightly touching your partner or having your partner touch you around the anal area while performing oral sex.
James from Portland suggested, "Slowly massage the area with your fingers (be sure to have trimmed nails) and see how your partner reacts. If he seems comfortable, then explore a little and deeper."
Craig from St. Louis told us, "Make sure your fingers are well lubricated. Use ample saliva or lubricants like K-Y [Brand] Jelly. As you move in little by little, slowly, be sure to read his body language every step of the way and you will know how much further to continue going."
Anal intercourse may take quite some time to ease into. In fact, 32% of you told us that your first time was not on your first try.
"It took me more than a few tries," Michael from Chicago said, "so be patient with yourself. But once I was relaxed and ready, making darn sure his penis was highly lubricated, I went for it. He inserted himself into me very slowly, and even then I was only able to handle being penetrated partially, which during my orgasm still felt utterly amazing."
A lot of you, 52%, wondered how to prepare hygenically for anal sex.
Tom from Quebec suggested, "Using a simple over the counter Fleet [Brand] enema is really helpful if you're a bottom because it gives you a confidence that you are tidy and ready for anal sexual activity."
Joseph from Vermot added, "Make sure to clean the anus thoroughly with hot, soapy water before any anal activities. I took a warm bath before. You can even use a finger to massage soapy water slightly inside the rim of the anus. This will also help to relax the outer muscles of the sphincter."
46% of you reported an enjoyable experience once you were comfortable enough to go ahead with anal intercourse.
Steven from St. Cloud said, "On the second time my partner and I were together we went all the way—the more I let him in, both the easier and deeper it was. When I climaxed, it blew my mind."
Paul from New York added, "Just as a slow insertion was important, so to was a gradual withdrawal. If you're a top, pulling out too fast can be very painful for your partner so take it slowly for them."
We all know by now, but it cannot be emphasized enough that protecting yourself by using a condom during anal sex is very important. If one of the partners is infected with a sexually transmitted ailment, the likelihood of contracting it increases much more via anal sex because rectal tissues are more easily torn and viruses penetrate faster than from vaginal tissues.
Key Tip: Take your time, be safe, and have fun.—N.B.
