Sorry I ruined your life. "Guess it just comes with the territory," Bryant said while a giant Manhattan citiscape filled his expansive panoramic office window behind him. He's referring to the rolodex of women his wife recently found out about—and how she's leaving him because one of them is pregnant with his child. "You get all of this," he says gesturing to the Mies van der Rohe leather and chrome furniture surrounding us, and the view, "and you top it off with extra marital sex with women—who want men who have all of this."
Of course Bryant is not alone; hell, a man with a mistress is nothing new. In fact, 72% of married men claim to have had at least one mistress during the course of their marriage. But it's a pervasiveness that's odd when you consider the one thing all of these men have in common is the fact that eventually they will get caught, 81% of them will anyway.
Over enough time, a species adapts to the changes in it's environment so that it can survive—webbed feet to swim, legs to walk, thumbs to grip food—so how is it man has yet to adapt such that his oldest pastime can survive without his wife finding out? BastardLife interviewed seven women who claimed they'd served as extramarital bedfellows to several men and they shared some chilling reasons why men, and Bryant in particular, may never have a fighting chance.
God made hotels for a reason. "Bryant needs to know that by coming to my place he's more likely to leave his DNA behind in either a discarded condom, hair on the pillow, or his lip print on the glass of wine we share. And I keep that stuff—it may be worth something down the road."—Melinda, Washington, D.C.
Learn to love latex. "It's likely I am not on the pill or practicing any other form of birth control even if I say I am, so if Bryant doesn't pull out I'll probably keep his baby if it comes to that. (Our emails and phone records are proof enough for me to get a court ordered paternity test)."—Sophia, Boston, MA.
Don't email her—ever. "I say I've deleted all of your emails—but I probably haven't. When I click 'reply' on an old note of yours in which you've gushed about how amazing my pussy is leave it to fate that that's the one Bryant's wife discovers while he's out jogging in Central Park."—Lauren, New York, NY.
Get a second secret Blackberry with a new number. "You've made the rules clear, 'Radio Silence' means don't text you on your Blackberry—even if I'm dying," but drunk I do anyway while you're on vacation with your wife and kids. It's the one that Bryant's wife finds because it's laying on the dinner table while he's in the shower."—Kendra, Los Angeles, CA.
Play—without getting played. "Sometimes you pull away and it annoys me. Instead of running after you I pull away and withhold sex. It's a great way of manipulating you. I also see other men but I'm vague when you ask me about it. Another good trick because though I'm pretty much exclusively your mistress, it gets you jealous. After a year of this you're professing your love for me just to keep me closer. That's when you get sloppy—and Bryant's wife finds out because of the credit card he said he'd never use but did anyway hastily for a hotel room because I'd withheld sex from him for a month to drive him mad and it worked."—Alexa, Houston, TX.
Don't shit where you eat. "It's always hotter when we're having an affair in the same city where we both live. And if you're hot, and rich, and well known, I can't help but brag about you out at night tipsy to my girlfriends. After enough time doing this, word gets out of course—but it rarely gets back to the wives. Emboldened by this we both get a bit cocky about carrying on right under her nose. Eventually, Bryant's wife either bumps into us out, or he's spotted by one of her friends with me when he's supposed to be out of town on business. If we're together long enough, I'll show up wasted at his home after a fight we've had. Though fun, same city cheating can really get ugly."—Clara, New York, NY.
No really, learn to love latex. "I've had herpes for years but I have never ever passed it along to anyone—so, I don't tell my men about it even though we never use condoms. I'm very good at knowing when I'm about to have a outbreak so I don't think there is any reason for worry. I'm equally as good at knowing when I'm ovulating so I let him cum inside of me most of the time because I've never been wrong and gotten pregnant. I hate being on the pill so I don't take it, though I tell my men I do just so they don't worry madly. I also have HPV but I am asymptomatic so, again, I see no reason to alarm him. In this worst case senario we're painting, I could see Bryant being that one guy who either get's me pregnant or passes along HPV or herpes to his wife unknowingly. But like I've said, that's never happened."—Asha, San Francisco, CA.
The phone on Bryant's desk rings for the third or fourth time since sitting down with him to talk. This time, he lights up and grabs the black receiver with a jolt of electicity, only to dim when he says, "I thought it was Heather," his wife of 21 years who hasn't called, or taken his calls, for nearly 8 months. "It was only the nanny, my youngest daughter has a bloody nose. Guess it just comes with the territory."—C.D.
