You like meeting guys online and having Facetime sex, but the hotter it gets on your iPhone, the more you want to break the barrier and meet him in person—is that unsafe sex?
Q: He has Facetime and I have Facetime. And after we find each other through a hook up site, we watch each other do things. He asks for this, I ask for that—just as long as we both cum at the same time. I live in West Hollywood and so do most of my online tricks—a place where when some nasty STD is going around it's easy to get it even if you're having safe intercourse sex. Why, despite that, do I want to step out of the Facetime screen and hook up in person, regardless of the so called dangers?—Jason T., LA
A: It's an obvious observation: progress can be good and progress can be bad. Facetime can make digital hookups instant and hot; the more we see of him, and the easier it is to interact with him, the more we want him in our bed—now. But does this updated version of phone sex motivate us to have unsafe sex?
Thomas M., of Atlanta told BastardLife, "Safe sex is a concept that precedes condom use to prevent the spread of AIDS. It was something you practiced when you climbed into the trucks by the piers in New York City in the 1970s to have sex. The term safe sex wasn't used, nor were condoms, but you told your friends to be safe out there from getting robbed, hassled, or beaten up. It was something you told a buddy who was heading to his favorite bar to pick up a trick so he'd actually make it home that night. Fast forward to 2014, a time when so much has changed, but then again nothing really has at all—because now, when a friend of mine who I know hooks up with strangers online, I tell him to be careful, to be safe so that he isn't murdered. I also tell him not just to be safe because of HIV, but because a lot of STDs that won't kill you will make you miserable either for the rest of your life or until you get the meds to clear them up."
"Safe sex comes in many forms in my life," George W., from Houston said. "I follow all of the basic rules: using condoms and avoiding fluids (I know Truvada is taking the gay world by storm, but there are many hideous side effects that come with it and many more STDs out there other than just HIV). The old creepy sex hookup movie In Search of Mr. Goodbar comes to mind when I think about going home with strangers because it is a given that men lie about themselves with staggering regularity online and off. I don't care how OK it is within the gay community to hook up with people they don't know, I have evolved, I now get just how dangerous going home with a stranger from an iPhone APP, web site, or bar really is. And by dangerous, yes, I mean not safe. As in unsafe."
Key Tip: Only you can define what the safe rules are in your sex life. If you regularly break those rules—don't ignore it.