Neal Boulton's BastardLife

Twister anyone? Our friend Les Fairchild conducted an interesting sexual position poll recently to a few hundred gay men that Kinsey would have just loved. It was a simple question.

What position do you find yourself in most often?

The answers: Bottom 32%,
Versatile 34.6%, Top 31%, and Other 2%. Now we all know that the group Other just want to get jackhammered all night. (BastardLife's favorite type of men—and women).

Interestingly, when we posed the same questions to 4,395 BastardLife readers, 62% of you claimed to be tops, 38% threesome bottoms, while a small 13% of you claimed to just be full blown oralaholics.—N.B.

Daily Doses. My girlfriend and I have been married for a long time and there have been years in which we were intimate often, then in which we weren't much at all. During the weeks when we weren't having enough sex, one of us, or both of us, would get grumpy and we'd usually end up being short and snippy with each other or arguing about something stupid. A distance would grow between us.

Eventually, we got it—and now we don't go a day without being intimate in some way. It doesn't have to be full on, but we make sure we at least fool around or make out on the couch, or lay in bed naked, caressing each other or running our hands through our hair while we talk before falling asleep. The good news is that most of this intimacy does lead to astonishing sex.

I once leaned in and asked my brother who is a doctor how he keeps it so alive and happy with his wife. He grinned and winked and said, "Well, an apple a day..."

Amen—Wendy, Bakersfield, CA

Generation ouch. Just when is the right time to tell your parents you're sexually active?—T.B.

You're ok with you boyfriend seeing other people. You've got a few every so often on the side as well. Now what?

Q: My boyfriend and I see other guys from time to time on the side, even though we’ve been a happy couple for over five years. Does this mean we are having an open relationship or just a normal gay couple?—Dave H., Tampa, FL.

A: Judging by an online poll of 4,312 BastardLife readers one might think that your relationship is the new normal.

63% of you told us that you’d been with your current boyfriend for over a year and that each of you was allowed to see other people.

Julian from Miami said, “Most of the time we are intimate with each other, but there are times that we venture out of our relationship and hook up with others. It’s just not that big of a deal with us.”

Stephen from Sarasota told us, “Sometimes when we talk about the other men we are with it makes our time in bed even hotter. A great remedy for jealously.”

Richard from Pensacola said, “Straight people are always cheating on each other. I accept that there will be times my boyfriend and I stray. Instead of letting it ruin our relationship, we let it make it hotter: if his boyfriend on the side is good enough, my partner will bring him in for a threesome. We call it healthy sharing.”

27% of you told us that you wished the men you dated were more accepting of open relationships. Danny from Siesta Key said, “I think it’s impossible for men to be monogamous—including those men who forbid their partners from cheating. Yep, they’re cheating, too. I should know, I was one of them.”

Key Tip: Don't fight human nature, work with it.—N.B.