Branded For Life? In BastardLife poll of 9,917 readers 48% of you identified yourselves as "bi now, gay later."
"Look," Susan from Redondo Beach, CA told us, "I'm newly single from my girlfriend of ten years. I had been with men on and off before I committed to a monogamous relationship with her, a monogamy I happily honored for all of those ten years I might add. Now that I'm single again, I have no shame shagging a guy from time to time—though my dream is to find another wondeful woman to settle down with. For some of the lesbians in my community, the fluidity of my sexuality is regarded as some form of Soviet defection. I remain unphased—and very sexually satisfied."
31% of you told us you identified as "gay now, bi by later."
Jason from Phoenix, AZ said, "I am deeply in love with my boyfriend. We've been together monogamously for about six years. I came out nearly twenty years ago as a gay man, mainly because in my small town if a man sleeps with a man, well, you're branded for life: as in gay, and gay forever. In my case though I am as equally attracted to women as I am to men. In my youth, I just assumed that I was gay, given that I had any feelings at all for men. But that all changed after I met women who I loved, and who loved me regardless of my bisexuality. In fact, I have had about as many female sexual partners as I have had male sexual partners. My story is simple: If I am in love with you, and if I am monogamous with you, then, I am with you. Sure, I've tried open relationships, but the jealousy, that thing we are hard-wired with, just gets to me after awhile and it proves too much. When it's all said and done, my boyfriend trusts in my monogamous commitment, and, being the gay man that he is, just tries not to gag when my head turns as a beautiful woman walks by."
A generous number of you echoed what Julia from Nashville, TN told us, "Good lord, if I told my girlfriend about my attraction to men, she'd lose it."—M.W.