In your threesome, all you want to do is keep going with her. But you fear your boyfriend is getting jealous. Now what?
Q: I'm a bisexual man, and so is my boyfriend. We are lucky to have one of the hottest women I have ever seen in our threesome. Problem is, I've been greedy, and not interested in sharing her with him. I have to work hard to employ my manners and yield so that my boyfriend can have more time with me and her when we three are having sex. How can I negotiate this one?—David E., New York City
A: Yes, bisexuality is fun, but to live a bisexual life, and to have threesomes that include someone with whom you are in a long-term relationship guarantees one thing no matter how evolved you are: jealousy.
The good news? Like with any emotion, or feeling that is part of sexual negotiation, communication is the great elixir—if you abandon all judgement.
First, a few days before the next sexual encounter—not during sex, and not while everyone is getting undressed—sit down and bring up what you are experiencing in a non-threatening way.
Second, find out what he is experiencing. Is he actually jealous? Turned off? Not as into it as you? Maybe he wants to be with her longer, too. Let's face it—intercourse feels good, no matter how polite you are, so of course it's hard to stop.
Finally, work out your threesome rules, and a plan, and stick to it. Agree on either a physical or verbal way to let each other know when it's time to switch positions—and don't break those rules.
Key Tip: Jealousy is par for the bisexual course, but something that with some agreements up front can be tempered so that you can all have a great time and less stress later.—C.D.