Neal Boulton's BastardLife

Excessive alcohol use has long been recognised as one cause of impotence, leading to the euphemism brewer's droop. Shakespeare even made light of this phenomenon in Macbeth, the play he wrote in the early 1600s. 

"It makes me horny," George from Baltimore told BastardLife, "but it doesn't help me in bed. There have even been times I literally can't get it up after too much beer and too many shots—even though I wasn't what I would consider drunk."

Judging from a poll of 4,129 BastardLife readers, it seems George is not alone. 43% of you told us that too much beer, or wine, or liquor and you either had a hard time maintaining an erection, or climaxing—or you couldn't do either.

27% of you told us that it hardly effected you when you were in your twenties, but that as you got older, it began to effect you more.

"When I was 28 or 29, I never paid any attention to how much I'd had to drink before sex," Eric of Seattle said, "but now that I'm in my forties, if I drink hard there is no way I'm going to be as hard as I want to be."

If only we had heeded Shakespear's advice when he wrote, "It provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance."—N.B.

In your threesome, all you want to do is keep going with her. But you fear your boyfriend is getting jealous. Now what?

Q: I'm a bisexual man, and so is my boyfriend. We are lucky to have one of the hottest women I have ever seen in our threesome. Problem is, I've been greedy, and not interested in sharing her with him. I have to work hard to employ my manners and yield so that my boyfriend can have more time with me and her when we three are having sex. How can I negotiate this one?—David E., New York City

A: Yes, bisexuality is fun, but to live a bisexual life, and to have threesomes that include someone with whom you are in a long-term relationship guarantees one thing no matter how evolved you are: jealousy. 

The good news? Like with any emotion, or feeling that is part of sexual negotiation, communication is the great elixir—if you abandon all judgement.

First, a few days before the next sexual encounter—not during sex, and not while everyone is getting undressed—sit down and bring up what you are experiencing in a non-threatening way.

Second, find out what he is experiencing. Is he actually jealous? Turned off? Not as into it as you? Maybe he wants to be with her longer, too. Let's face it—intercourse feels good, no matter how polite you are, so of course it's hard to stop.

Finally, work out your threesome rules, and a plan, and stick to it. Agree on either a physical or verbal way to let each other know when it's time to switch positions—and don't break those rules. 

Key Tip: Jealousy is par for the bisexual course, but something that with some agreements up front can be tempered so that you can all have a great time and less stress later.—C.D.

When ouch does not necessarily mean no. In a recent poll of 6,419 BastardLife readers, 43% admitted enjoying a spanking during climax.

"It's not out right painful when you're cumming—it's a combination of numbing and titillating with just the smallest tingle of hot pain," Julie from Arizona told us.

22% of you let us know you were very curious about spankings but had yet to ask for one out of fear of your partner's reaction.

I love it," Lauren from New York City said, "but I have yet to ask my current girlfriend to do it to me yet because we only just started dating. Soon I'm going to tell her just what to do. The key is, as soon as I start to cum, start lightly slapping my ass, increase the intensity of your slaps as my climax increases. Slow it down to lighter as I start to wind down. Simple."

A small percentage of you said the last spanking you got was from your mother decades ago and you saw no reason for another one.—N.B..