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Straight, Gay, or Bi, Neal Boulton's BastardLife.com is the only online sex & relationships magazine for all of us.

In a BastardLife World

By Neal Boulton at 6:53PM on December 27, 2013

Got the Balls?

Neal Boulton

Happier Campers. “I’m not talking about your daddy’s bathhouse,” George E., of Houston wrote in to tell us. “There is nothing dirty or back room about it anymore. In fact, the bathhouse here is nicer and cleaner and more luxe than the country club my family belonged to when I was growing up.”

It’s no secret that in the 1970s and early 1980s gay and bisexual men gave bathhouse sex its infamy. Promiscuous, anonymous and delirious. But fabulous? “Yes,” says Aaron W., of Santa Fe, “because its reputation is nothing like its reality. Nowadays, it might even be the safest way to go about sex.” According to a poll of 4,319 BastardLife readers, Aaron may be on to something about bathhouses, because 57% of you told us you had no objection to visiting one for sex.

Tyler G., of New York told us, “We have a couple of bathhouses here in New York, but they are run down and a bit dirty. I thank my lucky stars I travel for work a great deal and get to partake of the cleaner, often quite modern and lovely private bathhouses across the U.S. My favorite is The Club in Ft. Lauderdale and in Houston. Always affordable and always clean. Houston’s The Club has a giant pool, a large whirlpool hot tub, two floors of nice, tidy and clean rooms, showers, and a steam room that’s packed with hot men enjoying what men who like men enjoy.”

Edward R., of Siesta Key said, “The Crew Club in DC is also quite nice. Like with most bathhouses today, the facilities are new, clean, and modern. The steamy sauna at the Crew Club could easily be in Architectural Digest for it’s zen tile design—and in Playgirl for its cute uninhibited men.”

Stephen of Chicago wrote, “I used to enjoy using Manhunt and Grindr but there were too many hustlers trolling around, I felt unsafe having strangers come over, and most of the men wasted my time with email after email only to arrive at my home looking nothing like their pictures and stats. I play safe at bathhouses so for me it’s a safer way to have a mini sexcation where I can actually see what I am going to get before I get it.”

“It’s simple,” Jerry B., from San Fransisco told us, “the world will always associate bathhouses with AIDS and the dark days of gay sex. But I find it much darker risking my life by going off with a stranger from a bar or from a website. Given the way the world has changed, and given how nice bathhouses have become, it’s easily the safer way to have hook up sex these days.”

A small percentage of you told us you would probably never have sex in a bathhouse. “It’s not a moral thing though,” Jeremy R., of Atlanta said,” I just don’t think I have the balls to go through with it.”—N.B.

By Neal Boulton at 6:50PM on December 27, 2013

Stayin Alive

There are times when I cum quickly and times when I don't. The key to staying hard after an orgasm for me is not pulling out of him after I cum. But to stay or get hard I have to start making out really seductively. I also initiate really gentle nipple play; licking my finger tips to play with his, and having him play with mine. Without fail this kind of hot make out session after cumming slowly gets me hard again and ready to gradually start pulling out and pushing back in again. I love it when we start gaining momentum, until we're at it all over again. By the end of one of these nights staying inside for a few rounds until we can't take it anymore makes for a great, sweaty, messy session of sex.

Timothy L., Manhattan Beach, CA

By Neal Boulton at 12:39AM on December 21, 2013

Play Lists

Love The One Your With. You might have once had a favorite sex record, or mixed tape, but then came the iPod, which got us to wondering: What's your favorite play list? A poll of 5,197 BastardLife readers revealed some old favorites—and new naughty ideas.


Gail from New York told us, "Sex feels sort of empty to me without slow, hot foreplay, making out, and lots of romantic talk. I don't think music makes it better, but it does set the mood for me. I also love how months later, whatever song might have been on, always brings back memories of that hot night."

Somebody That I Used To Know, Gotye

Take It All, Adele

Free Fallin', John Mayer

Nasty Pounding

"She's not my girlfriend," William from Dallas said, "but I've been her favorite friend with benefits for four years now. And when she booty calls me I know—she only wants a nasty pounding, and nothing makes that better than some music with rough edges."

Amaryllis, Shinedown

Gold on the Ceiling, The Black Keys

Live to Rise, Soundgarten


Brian from Phoenix told us, "Sex is fun—which I guess is why my boyfriend and I love to fuck to the beat of pop music. The bonus is it makes for a great workout."

I heart You, Toni Braxton

Lose My Mind, Sebastian Ingrosso + Alesso Featuring Ryan Tedder

Girl Gone Wild, Madonna

Trick's Choose

"My favorite play list is your favorite play list. No really," David from Miami said, "I don't have one. If we make it to my bed, and it's always my aim that we do, I ask her if she has an iPod and to put on her favorite play list. I've heard some pretty good ones when I let my trick's choose."

I Feel So Close to You, Calvin Harris

Glad You Came, The Wanted

Do You Think I'm Sexy, Rod Stewart

Whatever your genre, or pleasure, turn it up loud tonight to your favorite song—and love the one, or ones, your with.—N.B.

By Neal Boulton at 12:37AM on December 21, 2013

Old boners

After all these years. In a BastardLife poll of 839 retired men age 68 and up, 63% of you reported back that you still had sex once a week. 12% of you told us that your health prevented you from being able to consume erectile aids such as Viagra, while nearly 78% of you attributed your continued virility to these types of drugs. 23% of you claimed you were better in bed than when you were in your 30s, and an overwhelming number of you confirmed that you "knew enough new sexual positions to put younger men to shame."—M.T.

By Neal Boulton at 12:36AM on December 21, 2013

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