Neal Boulton's BastardLife

Dating is a sport for you, but some people judge you for burning through men like a wildfire. Now What?

Q: "Many of my girlfriends are starting to get married and have babies. I've been told to 'settle down,' or to stop being 'so picky,' and to 'find one man' to settle down with. But I have no interest in that. I enjoy living the single life and I'm having fun. It's obvious some of the women around me think I sleep around too much, but I don't want to get married until I'm done with this fun single stage of my life. How can I explain this without sounding like a slut?"—Julia E., Houston, TX

A: The women some consider slutty turn out to be the kind BastardLife readers consider smart. Here's why. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce—and that's among couples that were possibly sure marriage was the next right step. So why allow yourself to be pushed into marriage if you are as articulate as Julia about why it's not time?

Gina from San Francisco told us, "I married too young. I was in love. It seemed like the right thing. But I hadn't lived yet. As a result, I strayed. I wanted to see what other men were like, what other sexual experiences were like. It was a great thrill, cheating, and experiencing other kinds of sex—but, naturally, it resulted in me breaking my young husband's heart and moving on."

Thomas from Detroit said, "After the honeymoon is over, marriage can become 'work.' And if you're not done exploring your sexuality, having sex with other people is just inevitable."

"I was monogamous the entire time I was married," Taylor told BastardLife, "but I just hadn't been with enough people to know why I was sexually dissatisified in my marriage. Eventually, we divorced and I started dating. I was blown away by how great sex could be. I really found my sexual self in the, sometimes lonely, dating scene. Now I'm happily married, most of the time, but 100% sexually satisifed with my mate because I waited to find out who I was in bed and otherwise."

Key Tip: You're ready when you're ready; until then, leave as many in your wake as you need to.—N.B.

It doesn't get much better than, well, anything Dian Hanson gets behind, or in front of. Whether breasts in the The Big Book of Breasts, cocks in The Big Penis Book, legs in The Big Book of Legs, or asses in The Big Butt Book—Hanson defines what Taschen does best: deliver indelible photography and erudite writing about intimate topics readers like us can't get enough of. What better way to close out her popular series? Yes—with her new female pudendum tome The Big Book of Pussy. On sale now and worth it.—N.B.

Those Golden Years. "Don't believe for a moment that great lovemaking is only a young man's game. My wife and I have been at it for the past sixty years. Yes, she and I are physically different than we were when we were younger—we look and feel differently. But the sex itself, the way if feels, is better than when we were in our twenties. In fact, the two of us still have sex two or three times a week. Of course I am grateful for drugs like Viagra—but those drugs don't create desire or make intercourse feel a certain way. And the wonderful thing is that age has not taken that desire away from me, or made intercourse somehow not as good. So to the young men and women reading BastardLife, just know that gaining age does not diminish sexual pleasure. Now if only I had the energy I did when I was a young man."—Harold, Lincoln, NE

Yes, you can eat your way to a better orgasm. But not just that way; rather, with foods that intensify lubrication for women, and circulation for harder erections for men. 

Avacados
This vitamin E-packed treat enables your body churn out hormones like testosterone, estrogen, and progesterone, which circulate in your bloodstream and strengthen sexual responses like clitoral swelling and vaginal lubrication.

Hot Chilies
Capsaicin, a chemical found in hot peppers, intensifies circulation to get your blood pumping and stimulate your nerve endings so you'll feel more—and thus, more turned on.

Bananas
Sure this phallus-shaped fruit makes you think about him, but another reason to savor them is because bananas deliver potassium, a nutrient key to muscle strength. So when you orgasm, the contractions will be super intense.

Oysters
A sex cliché? Yep, but for good reasons: Oysters can absolutely get you in the mood. How? These sensual shellfish are brimming with zinc, a mineral that cranks up the production of testosterone, which has been linked to a higher sex drive.

Chocolate
Cocoa contains a chemical called phenylethylamine, which is a stimulant that instills the warm kinds of feelings that create sexual desire.

Red Wine
Unlike beer or hard liquor, which can reduce sexual performance, red wine contains resveratrol, an antioxidant that helps boost blood flow and improves circulation before and during intercourse.

Pomegranates
The pomegranate's sexual power comes from its antioxidants, which protect the lining of blood vessels, allowing more blood to course through them. How do you benefit? Increased genital sensitivity.

Salmon
Whether with cream cheese in the morning or as a steak for dinner, this healthy fish is packed with omega-3 fatty acids, which keep sex-hormone production at its peak.

Vanilla
Dont' feel guilty about those late night ice cream sessions. When what your devouring is flavored with this sweet bean it can mildly stimulate your nerves, intensifying sexual sensations.

What makes these foods even better? Letting your naked partner feed them to you.—R.T.